Big changes around here...

The biggest one is that little Loren is going to preschool after all. I took him in last week to be evaluated for speech because I wasn't sure where he was in relation to his peers. They screen for speech, OT, and another one (I forget what), and they said that he was fine for speech, but that he qualified for OT.

I thought it was just because I'm his mom and he's 4.5 that he doesn't pay attention and doesn't follow directions, and I thought he's just being shy when we're in strange places. He's really not all that shy, but he does get very easily overwhelmed if too many new people pay attention to him all at once. Once he knows you though, you have a friend for life. My husband's whole family is "type-A" personalities and LL is already struggling with perfectionism- I discovered this when I was trying to teach him how to write his name and he got frustrated when he couldn't write the letters perfectly every time.

I'm nervous about sending him off, but it's only afternoons for less than 3 hours and I know they'll be helping him learn what he needs to do to cope. I'm still hoping to homeschool him starting next year, and I am planning on continuing to work with him on K stuff this year. But for now, we're waiting to have an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting with his teacher(s?) and occupational therapist(s) to see what goals we have for him. The school district started this week so they're trying to get settled with what they have and then get the new students in. So it will be about another week or two before he actually starts. I asked him today if he wanted to ride the bus (he has the option) or if he wanted me to drive him, and he said he wants me to drive him. I'm perfectly okay with that!

The other big change is that Loren (hubby) is leaving his job at Job Corps. The management there leaves MUCH to be desired and they're just getting worse instead of better. I told Loren a couple weeks ago that I was tempted to tell him to just quit and focus on building up his judo club. At the time he told me "no, I have to stay at Job Corps." A couple days later he called me and told me he was going to turn in his 2-weeks notice. Friday is his last day. Right now, he's working on several leads for part-time work in the mornings and is going to work on building up the Roswell Judo Club in the afternoons. I'm not really as freaked out about the sudden change in income as I thought I would be. We've been through worse and we know what we can live without and what we can cut back on. He's also working on a couple other things, but right now I'm not at liberty to disclose that information.

Fall is a busy season for us no matter what, and these next few months will definitely be crazy with our new changes, but I know we'll come out the other end doing just fine. God always takes care of us.

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies. ~Author Unknown

We saw a toad today!

We've gotten a lot of rain since the beginning of July, so the creatures are taking advantage of the extra moisture and coming out to play. Loren has been working on fixing everyone's vehicles (finishing Michelle's truck, replacing my brakes AGAIN) all weekend at his mom's house and when we were playing "musical cars," he decided to sweep up a little bit of the dust and debris that had accumulated under Michelle's truck. When he did that, a toad (we thought it was a frog at first) hopped out from the grass by the fence. He chased it with a broom to the other side of the carport area where he was working so I wouldn't run over it. When I parked my car, I went around the side to see if I could see the toad.

He* was just sitting out in the open all fat and happy, so I went to go get the boys from inside the house. When we got out there, I couldn't find the toad. I was pretty bummed that the boys didn't get to see him and little Loren went back inside. Justin and I were just hanging around watching Daddy and I decided to look a little harder for the toad since I figured he was hiding in the vines on the other side of the fence. Sure enough, I found him hiding under the vines and showed Justin, who thought he was pretty cool. Then we went and got little Loren back from inside the house. I used a stick to gently nudge the toad to see if I could get him out into the open but he just jumped further back into the vines. I found him again and it was actually a better view of him where we could see his whole body. The boys thought he was pretty neat. I would have tried to catch him but he was already scared, and I didn't have anything to put him in. Then I decided it was time to leave him alone, so we all went back inside. The ONE day where I didn't have my camera with me, we find something cool. Oh well, such is life.

I figured since there probably aren't very many amphibians in New Mexico, I could probably find him on a list of NM frogs/toads somewhere on the internet. Sure enough, there was an almost identical picture of the toad on Wikipedia. I'm fairly certain our little friend is called Bufo speciosus or Texas Toad**. Loren (hubby) said he must be a little lost to be in New Mexico instead of Texas, but I found that the species does not limit it's range to within the Texas border *wink*. Little Loren decided to name our little friend Megatron (after the Transformer, of course) even though we didn't keep him.

*I have no idea if the toad was a boy or girl. I just figured using masculine forms would be easier.

**It is quite possible that "Megatron" could also have been a Bufo woodhousii (Woodhouse's Toad) because they appear to have very similar markings. The toad we saw was fairly large (about the size of my fist) and the Woodhouse's Toad is at least an inch larger than the Texas Toad. I guess that will teach me to have my camera with me so that we can take pictures in order to correctly identify our finds. I have a feeling this is going to be an interesting adventure of identifying creatures from here on out.

I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals"
(so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man.
I find the result humiliating to me.
~Mark Twain, Letters from the Earth, 1907

Carlsbad, Old Friends, and Puppy Love

Last weekend, the National Park Service had their second fee-free weekend of the year. Apparently they do this for one weekend in every month during the summer. There are about 13 national parks/monuments/historical parks in New Mexico and the closest one to us is Carlsbad Caverns. I told Loren I wanted to go, and he agreed. He just happened to talk to our friend Mike (best man in our wedding) that night that we decided to go, and Mike said he and his family would like to go and meet us there.
We left Roswell at about 1:30 and got to Carlsbad Caverns at about 3:30. Mike, Carrie, Sophie, and Sam were already there, but just barely. I put Justin in the Moby Wrap- backpack carry, Mike put Sam in his backpack, and we got our free tickets. It was already too late to go in through the natural entrance, so we just rode the elevators down to the Big Room. We started hiking and the kids (little Loren and Sophie) did absolutely wonderful. They didn't complain at all and they asked a lot of questions and just seemed to enjoy it. Justin and Sam weren't so thrilled- Justin got bored and wanted out of the carrier about halfway, and Sam fell asleep about that same time.
Partway through the hike, I looked over and Sophie had grabbed little Loren by the hand. They see each other only two or three times a year, but little Loren has a puppy love crush on Sophie. He always talks about how they got married a while back when we were visiting (she put a ring on his finger when they were playing house) and how they have all kinds of cool stuff at their "house in Albuquerque." They pretty much held hands all the way through the Caverns and were showing each other "look at this" and "look at that!" I'm not sure anything will turn out from their little "romance" but it sure is cute, and I wouldn't mind having Sophie for a daughter-in-law. She's cute and smart!
We messed up with eating dinner, so instead of going to Carlsbad and then coming back for the bat flight, we ended up just staying at the Caverns for the bat flight. The bat flight wasn't as exciting as we had hoped- maybe better luck next time. We ended up driving to Carlsbad (15 miles from the Caverns) and finally eating at Chilis at 10:00 at night. It was great being able to visit with Mike and Carrie. I miss hanging out with them, well, mostly Mike since he met Carrie after we left Las Cruces. But they're a fun bunch and I wish we lived closer to them. I think Carrie and I would get along great, and of course Mike and Loren have been friends for 18 years or so.

I am learning to live close to the lives of my friends without ever seeing them. No miles of any measurement can separate your soul from mine. - John Muir

My heart melted

Just a little while ago, we were all saying our "good nights" and "I love you's." I was holding Justin on my lap, nursing him, and called out to little Loren "I love you." Justin stopped nursing and yelled "Ove You!" So sweet. And then I said it to him a couple more times and he told me "Ove You" back several times and then fell asleep in my arms nursing. Oh, I love being a mommy, and I especially love his age!

My love/hate relationship with my job

I've been doing this paper route for the Roswell Daily Record for a little more than a month and I've developed a love/hate relationship with it. I'm still trying to figure out the pros and cons and make sure the pros still outweigh the cons.

The money is pretty good. Not as much as I originally anticipated, but it's better than me bringing $0 in. Of course, losing 40 customers all in one shot because they're not paying didn't help with the amount I expected and the amount I got. The newspaper collects the money for the carriers now, so my direct customer relations are pretty minimal.

I really like that I don't have to deal with many people. I always kind of thought I was a "people person" but I like doing my job alone. I'm really my own boss so as long as the papers are delivered and I'm not doing anything stupid, the Record doesn't care what I do while I'm delivering. My paper route is also my "alone time" away from the kiddos and I can listen to my radio and not have any running commentary from the 4.5-y-o and 21-m-o peanut gallery. I had to take the boys with me a few weeks ago when Loren went out of town and it was horrible- they stayed awake most of the time we were out and wouldn't be quiet.

The physical demands are actually a little more challenging too. I currently have to roll 225+ papers every night and then also throw them to the customers' driveways or put them in their tubes. My arms get tired after rolling every night, and my butt and back get sore from sitting in my car seat for 3.5+ hours. I try to leave my house around 1:00am and have the papers delivered before 5:15am, so I usually get to sleep around 5:45. Lately I've been sleeping until noon. But I know I'm not getting enough sleep, and definitely not enough *quality* sleep. My body has adjusted to the "time change" (on Mondays, when I don't have to deliver, I stay awake until about 4:30am) but I still feel like I'm in a bit of a fog when I wake up.

I try really hard to get up around 11 because it's not fair for the boys for me to sleep late, but it's hard to wake up. LL is pretty good about staying out of trouble in the morning- he'll watch tv most of the morning and can get his own breakfast most days. Justin is still in his crib and has actually been sleeping in too, so I haven't really worried about him much. I want to be able to go out and do fun things with my kids, but by the time I wake up and get everyone fed and dressed, half the day is gone and most of the things (ie. story time at the library, free movies at the theater) are already done for the day.

My car is taking the new "workout" pretty rough. Loren had to replace my brake pads and rotors on Sunday to the tune of $150- money that we didn't exactly have (well, sorta, since I DID get paid on Friday). Tuesday morning, I got a flat tire and thankfully enough, I was close enough to Job Corps that he met me there (thanks to Tara for going to the house to watch the boys) with no damage to the wheel. And he's my hero for fixing the tire in no time flat (no pun intended)- not even needing to just use a spare. Now I'm getting less than 10 miles to the gallon on gas, and my oil looks low.

Overall, I like my job, and I'm grateful for the job. I keep telling myself that I need to stick it out for at least a year. I don't think I've ever had a job that long, except for the vets and that doesn't count because most of that was volunteering. I plan on going back to school in the spring, but hopefully I can do school and work and keep up with the boys. And I also still plan on bringing Kiowa down here too. I'm getting tired just thinking about it!

Work isn't to make money; you work to justify life. ~Marc Chagall

An update

Been busy, busy! My sister, Jessica, graduated college in May, and then my cousin, Stuart, graduated from high school the week after that. So the boys and I spent a whole week up in Pojoaque with my parents, brother, and sister.

When I got back, I got a paper route. It took me about a week and a half to really get into a groove but I'm really enjoying it now. I've almost completely cut my time to 4 total hours out of the house. Except on Sundays, when the papers weigh 1 lb each and are extremely difficult to roll. The only thing I haven't learned (and am afraid to try) is how to roll and drive at the same time.

Someone asked me the other day which of my kids was the most difficult. I laughed and told her that they both are. Justin is my most difficult child in that he gets into the most mischief. He's always getting into things he's not supposed to, and swallowed a dime the other day. I still haven't seen the dime, but that doesn't mean it didn't pass. He loves to color and draw and he's very smart and observant. He talks a lot and it is fascinating to watch him express himself so much more.

Loren is my most difficult child in that he's got a very strong temperament. Loren (hubby) is out of town to New York this week and little Loren has been seriously pushing my buttons. He can count to 10 without help and can count to 20 with help. He knows all of his letters and their sounds and we're working on teaching him how to read and write. He's still addicted to Transformers and has requested a Transformers cake for his 5th birthday.

Um, not sure what else to update on right now. It's getting late and I gotta get the boys to bed before I have to put them in the car to take them on my route with me. Can't wait until Loren gets home so I can go all by myself again!

Frustrations

I'm not usually one to get easily frustrated or let things bother me. And all things considered in the events of the past 2 years, 2009 has been going fairly okay for us. But there have been a few things lately that have been frustrating for me and I guess I need to let this all out.

I posted a while back about needing hearing aids. I decided to go ahead and start the process and paid my half of the cost with some of our tax returns. Thankfully our insurance paid for the other half of them. When I paid for my half, I had already gotten my ear molds done so as soon as I paid they sent them off to the factory and told me that they should be in in 2.5 weeks. Last Wednesday was 2.5 weeks and I hadn't gotten a call, so I called them. The gal at the office said that she would call the factory and get right back to me. She called back later that afternoon and said the factory was still working on them but they should be done by the end of the week and they would have them overnighted. Fast-forward to today and the main guy himself called. He said something had happened and that the factory had lost my molds and that I have to go back in and have them redone. I'm frustrated by this because I am ready for them. I know I'll survive 2 more weeks without them- I've survived 21 years without them. But I have already come to terms with the fact that I need them. I want to know what I'm missing out on. I may not always want to hear my boys' constant chatter sometimes, but to be able to hear them clearly would mean a lot to me. I'm tired of waiting.

I have been waiting for a paper route from the Record. They offered me a route to Hagerman, but I turned it down because I'm not driving a 100 mile route every night. Last week, again on Wednesday, they called me and offered me a rural route west of town that wasn't as many miles (60 instead of 100). I figured that beggars can't be choosers and accepted it, even though it's still a lot of miles. They told me to come in at 1am and they would show me the route and then I could do the paperwork the next day. About 2 hours later, someone else called and said that the original paper route driver changed her mind and decided to keep the route. Why couldn't she have changed her mind BEFORE they called me!? Why couldn't they tell her "oh, sorry, we already gave the job to someone else!?" I'm anxious to get a route because I know I would do well at it.

I've also had a few problems with my cake business that I'm not going to dwell on here because I'd rather forget it. And business has been a little bit slow after my inital rush at the beginning of the month.

And I'm ready to plant my garden, dangit! The weather here has been all wacky. Warm for like 2 weeks and then a nice cold front comes and freezes us all. I want things to be steady warm so we can get our garden started.

Oh well, I'm sure things will right themselves and this will all be a moot point soon. One can hope, and one can pray.

Patience: A minor form of despair disguised as a virtue. ~Ambrose Bierce